Had a good day but didn’t drink enough water. Oh well, I will live. But what was interesting to me today was my trip to the grocery store after work. I really enjoy my experiences at a certain Floridian grocer beginning with “P”, but very much dislike the competition beginning with “K”. At K I can go through with few temptations. At P, oh my, it’s a panoply of dizzying aromas and visions, and appeals to my fondness of light.
But I sat in my car in the parking lot about 10 minutes. I prayed and considered sending out a group text or Facebook status that I was about to enter the P-zone and to pray fervently and feverishly for me. Not only did I have necessities to pick up, but I also was quite hungry ==> Danger, Will Robinson!
It was ridiculous! Glad I prayed! Whew! First were the beautiful pumpkins and cinnamon, then the quick pick steak bar, oh and another step and I was neck high in Halloween candy. A few more paces and the chef was preparing my perfect evening meal complete with sizzling meats and peppers. Turn the corner and hoards of people were stacked 3 deep ordering their subs, cakes, fried chicken complete meal deals, and enough fresh sliced turkey to scare a gobbler or two. Oh, did I mention the world’s best potato salad reaching for me as I tried to scurry by. RELIEF. I made it to produce! Somehow I escaped the vortex of taste bud nirvana.
Heart rate slowing, I strolled through the lovely veggies and fruit. It was so aesthetically pleasing as all the rich colors caught my eyes. Bananas, yes. Grapes, yes please. Apples and pears, oh my! Squash and peppers, sweet potatoes and lush tomatoes. I was beginning to recover.
I managed to gather my necessities without succumbing until…. Bacon. Why, oh why!??? I never buy it because I can’t eat just one. Among the skinless boned chicken, the veggies for soup, the apples and bananas in my cart was bacon. Whose genius idea was it to juxtapose bacon into the frozen veggie aisle? Some demonic marketing guru? Yep, it worked! Triple danggit! I got home and inhaled 3 pieces before I could even get the pan hot.
Again, not the worst miss but it is not on the current plan. I guess you could say my Score today would be a 90% — 5% deduction for not enough water and 5% for the bacon mishap. Once I awakened from my bacon fantasy I immediately began cooking my veggies and chicken. Narrow escape.
To have another moment of brutally and blatantly vulnerable transparency, I have literally had junk in my trunk. My way of “hiding” my issue was to keep junk food stashed in my trunk. I have never stashed junk in my desk at work, nor in my bedside table, heaven forbid! But, yes, my hiding behavior has manifested in the trunk of my daggum car. Wow, admitting hurts.
So, yes, it’s an awakening to gaze third party at myself. I so value my brothers and sisters in AA, NA, and other programs for their ability to shamelessly confess and take one day at a time. I am beginning to understand the power of the substance. The grocery tonight, even though I was in jest over the barrages I encountered, the pull toward evil (yes, I did say junk food is evil and mean it), is palpable. It is real. And I need help!
Thank you for reading along my journey. I am so grateful for you and need you.
Although none have commented here in WordPress yet, you guys who have commented on Facebook have really, really blessed me. I am so rich in loving friendship and I cherish each one.
And I’ll share my gal Stasi Eldredge a lot here…. She is my inspiration and my joy. She has just made significant changes to her armor and has written a phenomenal book entitled “Becoming Myself”. (She stole my title, lol, so I had to come up with another… nah, but it’s a good one!) We are kindred spirits in the Sisterhood of Armor. She blesses my heart in the deep places. Have a look at her work if you haven’t before…
A quote from her Facebook page today:
Jesus says he is our Strength, our Shield, our Rock, our Hiding Place, our Refuge and our Deliverer. He says he is our great Comforter, our faithful Companion, and our ever-present Friend. Jesus says he is the Mighty God, the Prince of Peace and his Name is our Strong Tower. Why not go ahead and ask Jesus to prove to you once again that he is who he says he is! He loves to do that. ~Stasi Eldredge
Here’s a link for her new work, Becoming Myself: http://ow.ly/nyEzx